I love computers and the internet, a statement that I know shocks no one reading a blog. My HTML skills remain rudimentary, though, and I have not ventured into the world of search engine optimization (SEO) since it often means inserting stuff into the underlying code of web pages.
This week I decided to make the giant leap and have my hosting service provide one of their SEO reports. The verdict: "Dude, you need keywords and other shit on your sites." OK, not quite in language that straight-forward, but the vibe was there. Oh, and they offered an SEO service for the site that would let me do analysis and fix things without HTML for a minimal fee, less than I spend on iced tea each month.
So I signed up for one of my sites, and loaded up the program. The first step involved choosing keywords for each page in my site. My first surprise was how many pages my site had. I thought it numbered four, but each tag category could be counted as a page for SEO purposes (although luckily not for host charging purposes). Once keywords were identified based on page based on its content and my intent for the page, another service within the product suite showed search ranking results for various terms containing the keyword of interest.
For example, "women" popped up in the top three on most pages, and the phrase rankings for "women" were:
"Women dressed and undressed" did not entirely surprise me at the top of the list. I was heartened to see "mature women" beating out "hot women" by almost 2:1, although personally I feel like I could fit in both categories.
"Hairy women" beats out "beautiful women" in this world; I really don't want to know how "tall women lifting men" or "women milking men" ranked so high. Weird...
Of course, the most reassuring information was "women kicking men in the groin" beating "videos of women being chloroformed" by more than 1,600. My faith in humanity has been restored with that information.