Updated Cliches: Goodbye Steroids, Hello Yogurt

Jul 06 2012 Published by under [Etc]

Thanks to prominent sports stars and their congressional hearings, we all became familiar with the effects of anabolic steroids. These drugs became part of our culture. So much so that when someone want to suggest that a given item exceeds the rest of it's class, they refer to it as "like X on steroids."  The phrase even makes it into online dictionaries.

 Your weather on steroids

Quix - Your Bookmarklets, On Steroids

A look inside Leap Motion, the 3D gesture control that's like Kinect on steroids

Just a few examples from a quick google of "on steroids."

I have tired of this phrase, but recently a wonderful new way to express the same sentiment magically appeared. As a bonus, it involves no illegal activity. When you are tempted to say something is like "X on steroids" please use instead:

Like mouse balls on yogurt.

 

 MIT Scientists studied yogurt's effects on mice, mostly hoping to find beneficial effects of probiotics. It became obvious as the study progressed that some unanticipated secondary effects deserved attention:

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Then the researchers spotted some­thing particular about the males: they projected their testes outward, which endowed them with a certain “mouse swagger,” Erdman says. On measuring the males, they found that the testicles of the yogurt consumers were about 5 percent heavier than those of mice fed typical diets alone and around 15 percent heavier than those of junk-eating males.

More important, that masculinity pays off. In mating experiments, yogurt-eating males inseminated their partners faster and produced more offspring than control mice.

So can we agree to stop using "on steroids" and instead substitute "like mouse balls on yogurt?" It's good science and you get to say balls. What could be better than that?

Go out, find, and replace please.

 

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